JOURNAL ENTRY #27

October 18, 2008

Ace Books treats me well. They publish my novels in November. That means they arrive precisely as Christmas shoppers begin to fan out. My editor, Ginjer Buchanan, traditionally sends me a copy out of the first batch to arrive from the printer. It came Wednesday.

I have to confess that there is no bigger charge in a writer's professional life than the arrival of a new book. Nothing. Nada. Zero. The Devil's Eye is my sixteenth novel, and with three story collections, my nineteenth book overall. I'm still not used to it. In 1980, I was on a TDY assignment at the Federal Law Enforcement Training Center in South Georgia, training customs inspectors. Though I enjoyed the work, I had a passion for science fiction, and had always dreamed of doing what I'd so much admired in Bradbury, Clarke, and the rest. But I'd never tried.

The reason I didn't have at it was the sure and certain knowledge that I couldn't do it. I've never been enamored of rejection, and I knew what the chances were, how the magazines get 6 million submissions a month and maybe, in a good year, buy one. I had a pretty good idea also of my writing limitations. Anyhow I came home one evening after a day at the Center, downcast, weary of teaching people how to enforce the tariff laws. The work is okay, but it doesn't rank with riding starships and time machines. My wife Maureen suggested I might want to make good on a longstanding threat to write a story myself. To me, it seemed a pointless exercise. But, to keep her happy, I jumped in.

I needed a few days. The story was about a guy who worked in a post office, who was in love with one of the clerks, but never made a move because he was afraid of rejection. One day an unusual letter arrives. It was from Ralph Waldo Emerson, and had been mailed more than a century earlier. The protagonist can't resist opening the letter. It contains comments made by Emerson in one of his essays. The essence: Believe in yourself and you can achieve almost anything. Do not allow yourself to arrive in the twilight years and discover that there are things you had wanted, but never pursued, because you were afraid of failure. The only real failure is not trying.

At the time I was writing this, I don't think I was conscious of the irony. Anyhow, I titled it "Zip Code" and sent it out. It bounced three times. The third rejection came from F&SF, but it included a letter saying that they'd liked it, but at the time were backlogged. I had no idea how significant that response was. To me, it was just another rejection.

I decided enough was enough, and tossed the manuscript into the bottom drawer of my desk, promising --but not really intending-- to go back to it later. But Maureen persisted, and, after some upgrades, we sent it out a fourth time, to The Twilight Zone Magazine. A few weeks later, my assignment ended, and we packed and returned to Pembina, ND. When we got there, a postcard was waiting. It was from T.E.D. Klein, the editor at TZ. They would buy the story, he said. Although it needed a new title.

It became "The Emerson Effect." Believe in yourself and all doors open. (Well, almost all doors.) I couldn't believe my luck and became convinced something would happen before the magazine could appear. The publishing house would burn down, a global plague would wreak havoc, Wall Street would collapse, nuclear war would break out. Something. But the December 1981 issue showed up on schedule.

In 1965, I was driving through northern Mexico, headed for Vera Cruz, when I picked up a radio broadcast from Texas. They were interviewing Harlan Ellison. Harlan was saying that once he'd sold that first story, he knew he could do this stuff, absolutely knew it, and there'd be no stopping him.

I remembered that broadcast while I removed my copy of The Devil's Eye from its shipping box. And he's right. The experience made me aware also that most people are a lot smarter than they realize. We spend so many years with authority figures, parents, teachers, bosses, showing us our mistakes, giving us advice, pointing out blunders, that after a while we begin to believe that we aren't very bright.

Interesting coincidence: I mentioned that The Devil's Eye came Wednesday. That same morning, I'd finished Time Travelers Never Die, which will be out in 2009. In November, of course.

Jack

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