Science Fiction and Fantasy Writers of America

by Dr. Grasshopper

Let’s warm up with the Amateur Transplants! (Warning: contains generally-frowned-upon four-letter words. Probably not safe for work, at least for those four seconds.)

Okay, class. Settle down now. Timmy, I saw that. Open your books to page “-itis”, and we’ll begin. (more…)

by Dr. Grasshopper

***This post includes Dollhouse spoilers. You have been warned.***

I was watching the Dollhouse episode entitled “Hollow Men” (2×12) the other day. And there was this scene. You probably know the one I’m talking about. It involved lots of needles. It involved cerebrospinal fluid. And it involved absolutely indefensible pseudo-medical ridiculousness. It looked a little like this:

Now, at first it didn’t really occur to me to say anything about it. I just cringed in the way that I usually cringe at complete medical BS, and mentally started preparing my usual speech to any of my patients who might have seen the episode about how “television is absolutely nothing like reality, so please bear with me while I try to figure out whether you have meningitis or not.”

And then I saw this blog post:

“That’s why Boyd the Dollmaster lured her and company out to Rossum — to harvest her spinal fluid. And let me tell you, based on that spinal tap scene, I hope I never have to have that procedure in my life. Because, yeesh, it looked painful.”

And I thought, great, Joss Whedon…lumbar punctures the way they happen in reality aren’t scary enough? Now we have to make people think we’re going to lower them screaming onto a bed of giant horse needles? Seriously? My job isn’t hard enough? There’s not enough anti-doctor sentiment running around? (more…)

I’m happy to announce a new feature on the SFWA blog, “How to Kill Your Imaginary Friends: A writer’s guide to diseases and injuries, and how to use them effectively in fiction” written by the pseudonymous Dr. Grasshopper.  Dr. Grasshopper is finishing medical school student and is a science fiction and fantasy author.

We start this week with:

If you shock a flatline, I swear I will come to your home and beat you with a wet chicken.

by Dr. Grasshopper

Beep…… Beep…… Beep…… Beep…… Beep…… Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee..………………Clear!………………… KA-CHUNK!!!!!!!…… Beep…… Beep…… Beep…… Beep…… Beep…………………

You know what this sounds like. You know exactly what this sounds like. You’ve heard it on practically every hospital TV show, every movie in which someone is rescued near death in a spaceship with a sickbay…over, and over, and over.

And it’s WRONG!!!

I’d like to take some time and explain why, how to not be THAT WRITER, and what you can do instead. (more…)